How Do We Know Where To Go

when the road is long and bumpy
without a map or scale for how far
how much longer
when can I stop to rest
when will I reach my goals

how do we know where to go
when our minds tell us to turn back
when our bodies cry in revolt
when our fears tell us it's far better to play it safe
or to make sure to please our others along the way

how do we know where to go
when we've never been here before
when the light is so bright it hurts the eyes
and the dark is so black that hearts try to escape the chest
when standing on the edge
on the brink of the utterly unfathomable
is so mind blowing that we don't even consider we might be alright

how do we know where to go
when we've broken down so much of our construction
that it seems like insanity to start to rebuild 
when people are saying stop stop
you've gone too far
you are in danger of losing yourself
when we start to second guess why we thought it was a good idea in the first place
when we feel too tiny and weak and fragile to go on

how do we know where to go

when we knew all along but couldn't believe it
or state it to any other person around us
when we felt it was right but couldn't make sense of it

how do we know where to go
when there is something calling us
but it's too weird to admit
when we know we are alive
and dying every moment
when supposed mistakes are rich experiences in this thing called life

we make tiny steps

we lay in puddles of muck

just to feel what it's like

we watch our selves die slowly

morphing strangely into worlds with new views

we beat our heads against pillows

asking questions that don't have answers 

at least not ones we really want to hear

we spend days uneasy

stopping only briefly at unexpected avenues 

where a speck of sunlight reflects the illuminating quality of a human mind

where the light suddenly highlights how matter manifests stories our spirit begs to speak

where simplicity somehow subtly circumnavigates crisis 

saying there is still something unseen and carrying us in coalescence

there is magnificence in meandering through 

to various yous

there is inexplicable grace in the force of creation

that inspires a sense of exploding out of these confines 

and the fear of losing what we thought we knew

we make up theories and rules to try to explain what we can't understand 

and expect that next time we will be able to say we learned 

meanwhile progressing within and without us

a dance of dynamic players and pieces 

beside what minds make believe

we are expression ever moving

we play with time as time plays with us

we are access points

to times we don't remember and people we thought we lost

we are access points to words that haven't been written yet

& sensations that can't be crafted into novels 

the everything 

that is nothing like anything

we are making it up as we go along 

while it makes us up as it goes along