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Even the not knowing is part of knowing
Even the lost feelings are part of finding who you are
Each time is completely new and different

It feels like it has a shiny new story but patterns are recurring
Shining different lights on the balloon
Each round fear tries to convince you that it has something new to offer

Fear is evasive
We don't want to feel the pain
Hiding from how you think it should look
I worry I will revert to where I was when I experienced this the first time

Breathe

Don't forget to breathe
In five days in ten days
In two minutes you can feel better
You will have learned something shifted something
Allowed more space

You know all you need to know right now for this moment to be complete
We are always turning
Shifting
This is only one step in the progression to somewhere else

This is a tiny part of the story
And everything is connected
You're not alone
You are not the first to feel this
Many before you, many right now

You are not alone in what you want
And when it comes time to commit, it won't be a question of yes or no
It won't be a question if it's right yet
You might even end up in it without knowing how you got there

From one mishap leading to another leading to the creation of exactly what you always asked for
but not exactly consciously

Every hard time you go through helps you solidify what is real and true for you and gives you a reference point a time when you've learned for yourself what is real and how to move through

---jitana